Basic Needs of a child/person

• acceptance: an unconditional regard that allows for mistakes without rejection or withdrawal of love,
• power: control over one's own life, a sense of self-determination,
• consistency: which comes from predictability and routines,
• worthwhileness: a sense of being valued as a person, a reason for living,
• affection: to love and to be loved.

Source: Mandatory Reporter text AEA14, Creston, Iowa

Ages & Stages

Another good resource are the "Ages & Stages" publications by Lesia Oesterreich available through Iowa State University Extension website, URL: http://www.extension.iastate.edu/homefamily.

How kids grow: Defining normal behavior
“If we know what to expect at each stage of development, it is easier to decide if our child’s behavior is ‘normal.’
“The age is not as important as the progression. Some children reach a stage faster, some reach it slower. Generally, all kids go through much the same things. Knowing what to expect can help parents deal with the frustrations and problems that are quite normal for each age. Behaviors that get stuck in one stage are cause for concern, otherwise, do not worry.
“One can get by parenting easy kids with common sense and love.
“Parenting difficult kids requires love, compassion, endurance, and skill that is not common. Fortunately, the necessary skills can be learned. A parent’s skill will not change the child into an easy kid, but it will prevent problems from getting worse.

“Some tips: (These stages are approximate.)

At 18 months—A few rules are necessary but the child forgets all the old ones when given a new rule. Use kindness to correct the child or you will have a very anxious 3 or a very naughty 3.

At 21 months—Give more love during bratty stages.

At 2 years—Parents have to be smarter than the 2-year-old, not tougher or more out of control than the child is.

• Child needs limited choices: Either … or. “You can either take your bath before supper, or before bed.” Do not ask the child if the child wants to do what the child has to do.
• Teach the child real names for all the child’s body parts.

 Source: Elaine M. Gibson, “How Kids Grow: Defining Normal Behavior.” 2000. Oct. 12, 2008 <http://www.healthyplace.com%3e.path/ Healthy Place Communities, Parenting, The Challenge of Difficult Children [on left pink section], Parenting Skills/Discipline, How Kids Grow.

 Latchkey Children: When can the child be left alone in the home?

• Does the child have any physical disabilities?
• Could the child get out of the house by him/herself in an emergency?
• Does the child have a phone and know how to use it?
• Does the child know how to reach his/her caretaker?
• How long will the child be left at home alone?
• Is the child afraid to be left home alone?
• Does the child know how to respond to an emergency such as fire or injury?

Source: Mandatory Reporter text AEA14, Creston, Iowa

PBS has Child Development information

On the Public Broadcasting System website http://www.pbs.org/ select the Parents tab, then select Child Development, then Child Development Tracker. You'll find information about ages 1 to 9. Knowing what to expect at what age can help you understand your child.